My Story

It's been almost three years since my world cracked at the edge of a cliff. The dissappointments and frustrations which I endure was nothing compare to being left alone, stranded, unclothed and barren in a certain wilderness unknown to man. I was devastated, hurt and for a while had gently fade away from what people including me, called Earth. At a young age of 21, I was diagnosed with Colon Cancer, stage III. It was just like slapping both your hands together. One clap and that's it. Everything went into a different direction. Everything went pitch black and I was lost there for a while.

My journey took off on a sudden twist. I was contented with my life, but it seems that life has surprised me bigtime. I had Cancer and I have to engulf the thought and the reality of it. This is real. Life isn't fooling me around this time. As I continue with the next process, I fought my hardest. No tears did I spare in order that others closest to me would not worry a lot. I kept my emotions in. Until the end of the treatment they never noticed how pissed off I am from all the medications, surgeries and other lab procedures done to me in order to keep me alive and fighting. Everything went as planned and I survived it all. I had surpassed what I know is only the first phase of being a survivor.

Three years has passed, still alive, and it seems the word Cancer is not unfamiliar to me anymore. It is a part of who I become right now. I was changed by it. I know I told my loved ones that I already accepted the fact that I had Cancer, But sometimes It still won't sink in no matter what I do or say. It still hangs inside this little brain of mine. It still hurts me when I see or hear about the disease. It's like eating me up alive everyday as I recall the very first day i received that letter of my diagnosis.

It is so hard. My life was temporarily put on hold for years now. I wanted to get back to normalization so bad, but whenever I do there are some hesitations and barriers that I could not describe. It's like something holding me aback. Maybe I am not yet ready to face the world carrying my past. Maybe I need more time. But for how long? I tried to ask myself every single day. How long would I keep myself isolated? I know there is a time and a purpose for everything. I just hope that my patience won't wear off until that time when I let go of myself into the real world. When that time comes, I will be ready and prepared to endure whatever is given.

For now, I am on my remission stage. I am a survivor to Cancer. and I believe that there is Hope. there is a future instored for me. I have to keep me alive in order to face tomorrow. This is me. and this is my story.