It's yet another rainy Sunday today. Lately we are experiencing a very cool, humid, cold weather. At least there is a use for our long sleeved shirts. Anyway, very early today I have done my Creatinine lab for my pre CT requirement. I am just praying and hoping for a good results in order to push through with the CT this coming Tuesday. I was too busy these past few days taking care of some businesses regarding my upcoming CT. The meds, doctor, and money to pay for the scan. It's not easy to just have my CT done. Needs not just effort but also a lot of money. Since I don't have a job and salary that goes with it, my parents still plays a vital role in my life right now. I am still dependent to them.
Aside from material worries I also have emotional, mental and spiritual worries. I am afraid and I am not ashamed to admit it. Who isn't afraid of knowing what will the result may be. No, I am actually not worried just freaked out! of what is going to happen... AhhhhhhHHHHHH.....but also Praying and Believeing and Trusting and Have a lot of Faith... God knows what He is doing.
My life now depends on what my CT results. But I guess no matter what it is, I have to move myself forward. I just need that first short step to continue living a life with normality again. I know it is so much harder this time, but I believe in me. I can do it. I encourage myself to get up and pace on everyday. No matter how heavy the past experiences and the future may give to me I still need to make myself happy, positive, and living life to the fullest. Maybe money has a part of moving forward, but this isn't about that. I could be happy just remaining as is and still moving on forward.
- everyday life of a person surviving life after Cancer.
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