upcoming worries

My upcoming CT is stressing me out. It's been six months since my last one and the result was fairly good, BUT my unoperatable/ unremovable cyst just grows by centimeters. That is the main reason we, my family are worried about. My Oncologist said that she doesn't even know the cause of the growth or where it nourished from. It isn't malignant. Thank God! we had it biopsized when I had my second Ex-Lap last year. and yet it is still growing. I just hope that on my upcoming scan it will just remain on it's previous size and hopefully will never ever grew.

Lately I had been busy with the whole preparation for my CT. Just making myself at ease and processing few details. I am also worried about needle insertion again. My veins are really thin and easily collapsable. Maybe due to my previous chemotherapy sessions. My last needle insertion was when I had my CT six months ago. The nurses on that department knew what needle size to use, when to insert and how to hit the vein well. whereas when I had my 2nd major operation last march 2009, the interns, residents, nurses hit me like 12 times and it sucks. I may not be the vocally complaining type of person, but If I am I swear I would be shouting and be angry with them. But lucky them I am not. I just took the pain all in, anyway it is for my own sake.

Well, good luck for me. I don't know my schedule yet because I still have see my allergologist tomorrow. I have some pre medication because of my allergies to some medication. just in case. She will give me the permit to carry on with my CT.

Life is nothing without some worries like this....


- everyday life of a person surviving life after Cancer.